


I Can't Do Anything To Change This

by IAmAshamedOfMyFanfics (faraandmera)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Falling Out of Love, M/M, becoming friends again sort of, breaking up, i blame day6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-28 15:49:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10130153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faraandmera/pseuds/IAmAshamedOfMyFanfics
Summary: Soonyoung is so bright. Jihoon doesn’t want to extinguish whatever light Soonyoung has sitting behind his eyes, but forces himself to stand in front of Soonyoung. To stand there and say what he should have weeks earlier.“I don’t love you anymore.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> whoops 
> 
> tumblr version: http://iamashamedofmyfanfics.tumblr.com/post/158056069030/i-cant-do-anything-to-change-this

Jihoon and Soonyoung had been friends for years. Memories of childhood escapades and way too many snacks, snuck from their parents, are impossible to forget. Jihoon and Soonyoung have been together for years, as friends, then romantically.

So it stands that they care about each other a lot. Soonyoung finds many opportunities to say “I love you,” on any given day, and is used to Jihoon’s lack luster responses. That’s just how it is. Jihoon has never been strongly affectionate. Never had an instinct to express love so directly. It’s always actions where Jihoon finds ways to return affections.

Jihoon doesn’t know how much clearer he can be, then, when his action take a drop from loving to distant. Perhaps it’s because it’s such a slow change. Perhaps it’s because Soonyoung doesn’t want to notice. Whatever the reason may be, Soonyoung continues on like nothing has changed. Like they’re still a newly formed romantic couple, just getting used to no longer being strictly friends.

Somehow, Jihoon doesn’t have any words to say what he wants. For someone who spends so much time writing, he’s disappointed in himself for his lack of words. But, what can he do or say, really? There’s nothing but pure, blunt honesty. There isn’t anything else he can do.

Soonyoung is so bright. Jihoon doesn’t want to extinguish whatever light Soonyoung has sitting behind his eyes, but forces himself to stand in front of Soonyoung. To stand there and say what he should have weeks earlier.

“I don’t love you anymore.”

“What?”

Jihoon doesn’t have many words, stumbles through his mind for anything to make this hurt less. Guilt and a terrible sense of distaste for himself settles in his chest. He’s a terrible person, he thinks. But, there’s nothing he can do to change this. Nothing to change how he feels.

“I just… don’t. Nothing changed, you haven't changed, I haven’t changed, but it’s just… gone. I still- you’re still my best friend. In that sense, there’s still love, but…”

“You’re not in love with me… anymore.” Soonyoung takes a deep breath, grabs at his own shirt to still his hands.

“I don’t.” Jihoon sighs. “I… thought you would figure it out on your own, and break up with me yourself. That was selfish of me. I just wanted to avoid the truth, so I’m telling you now. I’m sorry.”

“Oh…” Soonyoung wont look at him, and that’s probably the worst part. “I should go.”

Jihoon feels worse, when he’s alone, that relief fills him. Being away from Soonyoung is relieving. When he realizes that, Jihoon feels sick to his stomach.

_“I love you,” Soonyoung would say, smiling and wrapping his arms around Jihoon’s shoulders._

Soonyoung doesn’t speak to Jihoon the next time they see each other. Somehow, that’s nice. Jihoon tells himself that there’s nothing to feel bad about. Feelings change, people change, no one should feel guilty for falling out of love.

Jihoon feels bad.

Jihoon and Soonyoung were childhood friends, turned into a couple, turned into acquaintances. They pass each other on their way in and out of the apartment building they both live in, neither says anything. They don’t speak. Jihoon had a childhood friend named Soonyoung. Soonyoung had a childhood friend named Jihoon. They’re no longer ‘Jihoon and Soonyoung’ and somehow that isn’t so bad. The fact it doesn’t bother Jihoon, bothers him.

Shouldn’t he feel worse about this?

Jihoon doesn’t have any words, in order to make them friends again. In order to return to kids stealing snacks from their parents.

“How’s work?” Soonyoung asks, as they stand next to each other in an elevator.

“Exhausting, mostly. How about for you?”

They talk.

Jihoon has a friend named Soonyoung, who lives down the hall from him and who’s moving on. Soonyoung talks about a person he likes, and Jihoon smiles. A weight he didn’t realize was sitting in his chest, lifts. Soonyoung is okay. Jihoon feel better, knowing that.

Jihoon finds the words he wants.

“You’re important to me, you know?”

“Still?”

“Still.”

“Thank you. You’re important to me, too, you know.”

“I know.”

They aren’t in love. Jihoon and Soonyoung are friends, they care about each other. Things aren’t back to how they were, probably never will be, but they’ll be okay. They are ‘Jihoon and Soonyoung’ again.


End file.
